The Real Reason Why It's Impossible to Be Productive During the Summer

And it's not because we're just having too much fun!

Summer holds so much promise. Swimming, fresh fruit, fireworks on the Fourth of July, grilled foods, spontaneous get-togethers and warm nights.

On the flip side: I am a creature of habit and I thrive on routines. Novelty and variety are fun for me in small doses (or very occasional large doses, like travel). So when summer rolls around and literally every single week has a different schedule, plus the mental load of preparing for a vacation, scanning various day camp emails for necessary details, and preparing Zadie for her first time going to a 2-week sleepaway camp—well, my brain simply breaks.

As a result, the past few weeks I’ve alternated between feeling like my brain is fragmented into a tiny thousand pieces and I’m scrambling to pick them up, or I’m moving in slow-motion, as if I’m underwater. This is me in the summer.

Before the summer started, I was revising the first draft of a new middle grade novel I’ve been working on. On our family vacation in June, my brother and I brainstormed about the story and he gave me a ton of good ideas I was excited to implement in my new draft. But when I got home, the whiteboard of my brain was immediately crammed so full with summer-related information and reminders and camp prep—oh and a full-time job and all the regular daily life stuff that doesn’t stop in the summer—and any excitement or energy I had for my novel was crowded right out.

I’m lucky enough to get to work from home a couple days a week, but when I’m at home and Zadie is, too (because she’s 10 now so we’re trying a thing where she’s not at a day camp every single day), it’s almost impossible for me to focus on work, let alone an extracurricular creative project. My mind and attention are fragmented—I’m mentally tracking how much screentime Zadie has had, what we’re going to do for lunch (and then dinner! three meals a day at home feels like way too much), switching a load of laundry, making sure the dogs go out, making lists for Target and grocery runs, and texting back and forth with other moms as I try to set up playdates so my extremely extroverted only child doesn’t wither away. So I try to do my work in bursts of deep focus—thankfully I have the kind of job where I have very few meetings; I just need to get my work done!—and the rest of the day I’m pulled in a thousand directions. And by the end of all that I do not have an ounce of brain power left to write brand-new scenes about characters I literally made up in my head.

This is honestly so boring to write about (and read about?) and yet this is the stuff that’s making up our lives every summer. This is why summertime can sometimes feel impossible, even as I also soak up the joys of the season (on Sunday we went to the pool and then ate fresh watermelon while sitting in the sun, towels wrapped around our wet shoulders, and it was heaven). Something Meaghan O’Connell wrote at the beginning of the summer resonated with me deeply:

To be honest, I still haven’t been able to let go of the idea of “enjoying summer.” I have a summer birthday. I love to garden, which peaks in summer. I love summer produce! I love the water and the sun. The parts are all there! Unfortunately to “enjoy life” I need 4-6 hours of solitude a day.

Before I became a mom, I cultivated my mind like a garden, a private place I could retreat to and feel at peace, thinking my thoughts, sifting through memories, letting my imagination run and connections form. Being alone is centering for me, and also where I draw from the well that allows me to write. That kind of solitude is elusive any time of the year as a mother to a young-ish kid, but it’s extremely scarce in the summertime. By the end of the season I’m crawling toward the finish line/first day back at school, parched and empty, dreaming of a 3-day retreat where all I do is stand in a pool with a book/staring into space. Desperate to let all the splintered fragments slowly return and reassemble, there in that garden of my mind, to restore the solid center of myself that makes me steady when I go out to work, to create, to greet the world again.

Books

Whistler by Ann Patchett – The hype is real. This book is a slow burn but so worth it, all the way to the perfect last line.

The Chismosas Only Book Club by Laekan Zea Kemp – This is a middle grade book that was compared to The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, which is one of my favorite franchises. I loved how Chismosas Only captured that feeling of an incredibly close friendship group that sees your worst and still loves you and cheers you on. There’s also some fun graphic novel elements sprinkled throughout, as one of the characters is an artist. This would be an excellent pick for a middle grader who wants to read “up” (YA) and maybe some romance but still age appropriate for probably 12+.

Articles

“I Survived a Cold Plunge and All I Got Was Everything I Wanted” (NYT gift link) – This piece by the incredible Taffy Brodessner-Akner was a delight to read and also had me googling where I can do contrast therapy near me!

TV/Movies

The Four Seasons (season 2; Netflix) – I am the precise target demographic for this show; it feels like it was made for me in a lab or something. I was truly sad when it was over! I think this season is even better than the first one.

Tall Girl (1 & 2; Netflix) – Zadie and I watched these movies recently and loved them! Just full of joy and the right amount of PG drama and romance; plus some good underlying messages about self-acceptance. I wish there were more PG romcoms out there! Lmk if you have a good one to recommend.

Otherwise, we’ve been watching a ton of the Dodgers and the Tour de France, and Zadie has inexplicably gotten really into House Hunters.

Podcasts

“Your ADHD Tools Won’t Work Until You Treat This Hidden Cause” (The Liz Moody Podcast) – Excuse the clickbait title and also I don’t think I have ADHD, but this episode is all about dysregulation and how treating that as a root for a lot of struggles can really help. Robert and I read the guest’s book (The Simple Guide to ADHD Regulation) and it’s very good!

Wrapping Up

Earlier this summer we went on a cruise around the Hawaiian islands with my parents and siblings and it was wonderful! Honestly, I feel like we squeezed a whole lot of summer goodness into one week. My one goal was to be in the water as much as possible (oh, and to enjoy the time with my family!) and I definitely accomplished that. It was so cool to see different islands—Oahu, Maui, the Big Island, and Kauai—when I’d only been to Kauai before. I posted a little recap reel on IG if you want to see.

And Zadie leaves for camp today!!! She’ll be gone for 12 nights, which is insane. I’m so excited for her, and I’m both looking forward to the child-free time (see the entire essay above lol)…but that’s also twice as long as I’ve ever been away from her. Not sure my heart can take it! I’m so proud of my brave girl, though.

How is your summer going? Any trips coming up or already happened? Are your kids going to camp or are you having a more unstructured summer? Do you feel more or less creative and productive in the summer? Feel free to comment and join the conversation, or you can reply directly to me. I always love hearing from you.

All good things,

Joy