Let's Talk About 90s Summers

Is it about the pressure to give our kids one, or the longing to have one ourselves?

My sisters and I enjoying a 90s summer. Newport Beach, California, circa 1990

I’m seeing talk about giving our kids a 90s summer everywhere. That translates to less supervision, more simple pleasures, and more unstructured time (rather than back-to-back day camps). It seems like every summer, there’s a fresh urgency to Make Summer Great Again. Some of this is fueled by social media and those darn influencers. It’s worth questioning, though. Why do we need to “give” our children any kind of summer at all? (Don’t get me started on making “core memories” for our kids!) Why can’t we just live our lives and it’s summertime and that’s enough (which is actually the true meaning of a 90s summer! Our parents were certainly not thinking about making it magical for us).

But even when I’m not really on social media, there’s definitely a wider cultural story around summer and childhood—maybe that summer (right up there with Christmastime) is the most concentrated time of quintessential childhood experiences: swimming, camp, ice cream, and the kind of carefree posture that’s only possible before you hit puberty. Think movies like The Sandlot and Now and Then. So, like Christmastime, there’s pressure to make things magical and create memories with our children because we think those are the ones that will burn the brightest/bolster them once they’re on their own in the gray, cruel world of adulthood.

One big fly in the ointment of the 90s summer trend is that it either disparages or completely ignores day camps. An unstructured, unsupervised summer isn’t possible for the working parents of young kids. I get the pushback on camps that are just enrichment opportunities for kids whose parents want to give them an edge in academics or sports all summer. But I propose that some day camps are actually a great way to give your kids a 90s summer: laidback programs run by parks and rec departments or public schools actually look very much like our own childhood summers (Otter Pops, “water play” that’s just running around in the sprinklers or hose, simple crafts and games, no phones or iPads). For us, that’s a day camp hosted by a local Jewish temple. The whole thing feels plucked right out of the 80s, complete with their twice-a-week jaunt to the public pool. One summer, they even walked as a group to 7-11 for slurpees! 😂

The other side of the coin of the 90s summer trend, though, is our nostalgia and longing for the carefree, unsupervised days of our own childhood summers, while we are presently mired in full-time adulting and a culture of nonstop optimization. What I wouldn’t give for those lazy summer days when my friends would come over and we’d swim for hours before before walking down the hill to get 99 cent bean and cheese burritos and then frozen bananas from Carvel for dessert. It was heaven. (And also, in my memory, completely unsupervised? lol)

One more note about 90s summer nostalgia: I think it’s fueled by a longing, whether conscious or subconscious, for a time before smartphones and internet culture, when the only screens were TV and basic video games. Kathryn Jezer-Morton wrote eloquently about how our anxiety about kids’ screentime is fueling the 90s summer trend, but I also wonder if part of what we parents want this summer is our own break from scrolling and constant internet noise. Maybe if I spend less time reading the news, listening to podcasts, and reading substacks (which is my new social media), I might find more space for the summer I long for.

As for Zadie, my compromise is to schedule her in camps for the whole break *except* the first and last week of summer. Those weeks she gets to watch TV until she’s sick of it, she has playdates, and we go to the pool. It’s not sustainable, but we can make it work for two weeks each summer.

What about you? What kind of summer do you want to have, either for yourself or your kids? Does your approach to parenting change during the summer at all? (See the feral kid/wild kid summer trend lol). What are your favorite memories from your own childhood 90s summers––are there any you’re re-creating with your kids?

Some related things:
I don’t always listen to Pantsuit Politics, and sometimes I just skip to their “Outside of Politics” segment, like on this episode about how they approach summer with their kids. I really enjoyed their conversation! » Pantsuit Politics: “Kid Rotting or Wild Summer”

“Let’s Unpack Some Intensive Parenting Trends (In a Way That Will Not Make You Feel Like Crap)” on the Culture Study Podcast with Anne Helen Petersen

The hilarious Daily Tay’s take on giving your kids an old-fashioned summer.

Other posts from me about summer:

What Kind of a Summer Mom Are You?

Planning an IRL, 1980s Summer

Surrendering to the Summer Slide

Let me know what you think about all this in the comments! I always love hearing from you.

Joy